Why motorcycles are better than women (humour)

[professore]

• Your motorcycle doesn't get upset when you forget its birthday.
• You don't have to talk to your motorcycle after you ride it.
• You can choke your motorcycle.
• Your motorcycle doesn't get mad when you ignore it for a month or so.
• Motorcycles don't get jealous if you come home with grease under your fingernails.
• Motorcycles don't snore.
• Your motorcycle won't wake you up at 3:00 AM and ask you if you love it.
• Your motorcycle won't leave you for another rider.
• You don't have to pay child support / alimony to an ex-motorcycle.
• If you say bad things to your Motorcycles, you don't have to apologize before you can ride it again.
• If your Motorcycle doesn't look good, you can paint it or get better parts.
• If your Motorcycle goes flat, you can fix it.
• If your Motorcycle is misaligned, you don't have to discuss politics to correct it.
• If your Motorcycle is too loose, you can tighten it.
• If your Motorcycle is too soft, you can get different shocks.
• If your Motorcycle makes too much noise, you can buy a muffler.
• If your Motorcycle smokes, you can do something about it.
• It's always OK to use tie downs on your Motorcycle.
• Motorcycles always feel like going for a ride.
• Motorcycles don't care about how many other Motorcycles you have ridden.
• Motorcycles don't care about how many other Motorcycles you have.
• Motorcycles don't care if you are late.
• Motorcycles don't get pregnant.
• Motorcycles don't have parents.
• Motorcycles don't insult you if you are a bad rider.
• Motorcycles don't mind if you look at other Motorcycles, or if you buy Motorcycle magazines.
• Motorcycles don't whine unless something is really wrong.
• Motorcycles last longer.
• Motorcycles only need their fluids changed every 2,000 miles.
• Motorcycles' curves never sag.
• New Motorcycles must be asked for, and if you don't want to pay for them, you don't get them.
• When riding, you and your Motorcycle both arrive at the same time.
• You can kick your Motorcycle to wake it up.
• You can ride a Motorcycle as long as you want and it won't get sore.
• You can ride a Motorcycle any time of the month.
• You can share your Motorcycle with your friends.
• You can't get diseases from a Motorcycle you don't know very well.
• You don't have to be jealous of the guy that works on your Motorcycle.
• You don't have to convince your Motorcycle that you're a motorcyclist and that you think that all Motorcycles are equals.
• You don't have to deal with priests or blood-tests to register your Motorcycle.
• You don't have to take a shower before riding your Motorcycle.
• You only need to get a new chain or belt for your Motorcycle when the old one is worn.
• Your Motorcycle never wants a night out alone with the other Motorcycles.
• Your parents don't remain in touch with your old Motorcycle after you dump it.
• Your Motorcycle doesn't care what you're wearing when you take it out.
• Wearing two fresh rubbers makes riding a bike MORE enjoyable.
• The rashes you get from motorcycles go away without those painful IM Penicillin shots.
• One gets in no trouble for storing disassembled pieces of the motorcycle in the basement.
• Disassembling the motorcycle is done out of pleasure rather than need.
• Motorcycles always sound pleasant.

[Jake]

I think you should show this post to
the missus, Professore.....

[professore]

She saw it already .... luckily for me she has a good sense of humour. On an unrelated note, my dinner did taste a bit odd yesterday evening ;D

[outlaw]

My wife has a good sence of humour as well and found this to post,

A motorcycle can go for more than one rider in an hour.
Motorcycles never develop spare tires.
Motorcycles last longer.
Motorcycles don't get you pregnant.
A motorcycle doesn't care what time of month it is.
Motorcycles don't have parents.
Your motorcycle will let you know if something is wrong.
You don't have to kick your motorcycle to get it going.
Your motorcycle won't judge your friends.
If your motorcycle is boisterous, you can buy a muffler.
You won't have to put your motorcycle through grad school.
If your motorcycles smokes you can do something about it.
Motorcycles don't care about how many other motorcycles you have ridden.
When riding, you and your motorcycle both arrive at the same time.
One motorcycle will satisfy you every time.
Your motorcycle won't ogle other motorcycles.
Your motorcycle won't care if you have a poster of your fantasy motorcycle.
If your motorcycle has high mileage, you can just get a new one.
Motorcycles don't care about breast size.
If your motorcycle is too soft, you can get new shocks.
If your motorcycle is misaligned, you don't have to discuss politics to correct it.
You don't have to drink beer before your motorcycle looks appealing.
You can be proud of your motorcycle regardless of the model.
You don't have to go to Tiffany's to register your motorcycle.
Your motorcycle won't beat you or try to make you feel inferior.
You can ride a motorcycle as long as you want and it won't get limp.
Your parents won't keep in touch with your old motorcycle after you dump it.
Motorcycles always feel like going for a ride when you do.
Motorcycles don't insult you if you are a novice.
Your motorcycle never wants a night out alone with the other motorcycles.
Motorcycles don't make you late.
You don't have to primp before riding your motorcycle.
Your motorcycle won't complain when you use protection.
If your motorcycle doesn't look good, you can paint it or get better parts.
You can't get a disease from a motorcycle.
Your motorcycle won't care if you fake it.
Motorcycles are always ready to stop when you are.
Your motorcycle has a built in vibrator.
Your motorcycle doesn't have to show off in front of other motorcycles.
Your motorcycle won't lie to you.
Your motorcycle doesn't care how heavy you are.
In the morning, your motorcycle won't poke you in the back when it wants to go for a ride.
You can turn the petthingy off.
Your motorcycle won't shrink when its cold.
If your motorcycle can't fire up, you can just replace the battery.
You don't have to cook for your motorcycle.
Your motorcycle can't ride around behind your back.
If your motorcycle is cold, you can choke it.
Your motorcycle is always the right size because if it seems too small you can just get a new one.
You can keep photos of your old motorcycles.
Your motorcycle would rather go for a ride than watch sports.
Your motorcycle can go for multiple rides.
Motorcycles don't need pick up lines.
You only have to ride your motorcycle when you want to.
Your motorcycle won't go for rides by itself.
If baldness occurs, you can replace the tires.
Motorcycles don't snore.
outlaw